The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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