I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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