he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
