Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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