I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
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jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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