just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
even my farts smell like vagina
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
