google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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