do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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