My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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