please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
