I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
