im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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