dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
