I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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