I hate all girls vehemently.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
