Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my being single is dangerous.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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