Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize