Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
