Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
