I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
