At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to sanitize my soul.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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