my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
