ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
