Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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