so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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