obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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