he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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