They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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