I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
