He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
