Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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