her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
