But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
