Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
