The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
