I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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