Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
MIDGETS
????
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize