sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
