fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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