The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
