I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
