Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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