i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What a dumb baby whore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
