Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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