The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
