Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
