I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize