New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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