i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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