there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize