We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
