Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
