i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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