Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
