The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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