Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
